I guess I shouldn't bury the lead here like I usually do, should I? Probably not. Okay, here's the deal --
I'VE GOT A BOOK COMING OUT!
That's right. You heard me. A book! One with actual pages that you can touch and smell and flip through and spill coffee on and rip out, I guess (but, like, please don't do that, you monster).
It's called Lifeless Pile of Mush, and it's my first, you know, BOOK-book. Needless to say, I'm beyond excited about it.
So what's the deal with this book? Well, to answer that question, let's take a look back in time...
[INSERT DREAMY HARP MUSIC HERE]
The year was 2011. The #1 song in America was LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem" (dear god why).
I, a fresh-faced college graduate with nary a forehead wrinkle in sight, had just started Avoiding Atrophy, a blog dedicated to celebrating the unpolished aspects of human existence.
Here is an excerpt taken from the About Page of said blog, shortly after I shared a series of unflattering pictures of myself:
This blog, Avoiding Atrophy, is about exactly what its name implies -- keeping yourself from becoming a lifeless pile of mush. To many of you, that might sound incredibly simple. Good for you. You probably always look great in pictures.
But for the rest of us -- those whose minds race, those who have huge dreams and no idea how to fulfill them, those who always regretted taking gymnastics instead of volleyball, those who love themselves on Monday and want to go on a break from themselves on Thursday -- we've got to find a way to keep it together and get the very best things out of this gift that is life.
At that time, I found myself disenchanted by the typical blogging landscape -- the one where bloggers shared their effortlessly joyful lives filled with contouring tutorials and repurposed mason jars (REMEMBER HOW ALL WE DID IN 2011 WAS REPURPOSE MASON JARS?!?!?!?!).
So that's why I started my own blog, a place where I could freely admit that life wasn't the DIY-joy-fest that other blogs depicted it to be. My hope was to attract other weirdoes like me who were as ambitious as they were exasperated, and along the way, perhaps we could encourage each other towards positive choices (ones that had nothing to do with mason jars whatsoever).
And you want to know something crazy? It worked.
The beautiful weirdoes: they showed up (you're one of them!). And the whole thing had a massive impact on my life -- a career-changing, earth-shattering impact, to be clear. I wrote my face off on that blog for four years, and my world was never the same again.
But recently, as you may know, I made a change.
I decided I wanted to narrow down my creative focus, so I created this website: christyoshoney.com. That's my name dot com. It's a place with pretty colors and modern features and buttons and all sorts of goodness that is just so very me. I left behind Avoiding Atrophy, and I never looked back.
Except I do look back. All the time.
Because that blog, the one that totally and completely rerouted my life, the one that depicts so much of the formative years of my adulthood, is still out there in the Internet ether.
And honestly, when I think about my scrappy, little blog baby stranded out there in the cold, vast wasteland that is the online universe, I start to feel a little bit guilty. I mean, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't leave any baby -- a blog baby or a human baby -- unattended in a cold, vast wasteland.
That's why I've decided to wrap up all of my favorite posts from Avoiding Atrophy in my warm, maternal embrace and swaddle them inside the comfortable pages of a book. It's what any good blog mother would do, after all.
Not only am I curating the very best essays from my former blog in this book, but I'm also annotating them! That means that all of the inner commentary I have while reading these old posts will be available to YOU, the reader. Any new lessons I've learned, any major judgements I have about my past self -- you are going to hear them. So it's basically like being inside of my head, and I don't let a lot of people in there, so you should feel privileged.
That said, if you have already read every single post on Avoiding Atrophy, there is still plenty of new stuff to chew on in Lifeless Pile of Mush (spoiler alert: there may or may not be a couple of posts from my old LiveJournal slipped in there just for the hell of it)
You'll dig this book if any of the following apply to you:
- You are the kind of person who wants to get the best stuff out of life.
- You are the kind of person who has been kicked in the teeth by life, so sometimes you just want to eat a bunch of salt and vinegar chips and watch reruns of Cheers.
- You enjoy laughing (you hear it burns calories).
- You have big, fat dreams.
- You need a heapin' helpin' of encouragement to help you achieve those big, fat dreams.
- You like me and/or my writing.
- You enjoy this blog and/or my former blog.
- You are a little bit country and a little bit rock-n-roll (and a whole lot afraid of public restrooms).
- You like honest, complicated examinations of the human experience.
- You enjoy self-development writing with a whiff of humor and a hint of self-deprecation
- You just finished The Magicians and you're not sure what to read next.
The book isn't out just yet, but right at this very moment, you can pre-order your copy of Lifeless Pile of Mush (at a pretty sweet discount, mind you) and receive it within a month! It's also available as an e-book, so if you're totally ready to embrace the future, I've got you covered.
So are you ready to read this thing? Click below to pre-order your copy!
Btdubs, you actually may have already known the big news about the book if you're one of the hip cats who signed up for my free email series, De-Funked. I kind of spilled the beans to those folks a little early because, well, I just did.
Anyway, before I head out, I just wanted to give a humungous thanks to those of you from that group who have already pre-ordered your copy, and of course, thanks-in-advance to anyone who reserves their book after reading this blog post. You all make my heart sing and blow my mind on the reg.